Books

I just finished reading two really good books. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and Crazy Aunt Purl's Drunk, Divorced and Covered in Cat Hair by Laurie Perry. (Check out Perry's blog here - it's hilarious and fun and she writes wonderfully about the craziness of Los Angeles too.) I never planned on reading these two "divorce" books at the same time, it just happened that way - go figure. I guess I'm just drawn to other people who have gone through the same things as I have. I think the common denominator is that divorce is crushing and you just don't think you'll recover or be whole again. I totally relate to that and reading about these women's journeys, their pain and what they did to get through is just some how comforting and you don't feel like you're such a freak in the world. It's always nice to know you are one of many freaks. What I found interesting is that they both "got out of Dodge" as soon as they could stop crying. I did the same. I went to Paris by myself with the only purpose to eat, paint and enjoy all things French. And I did. When I did this little sketch of the brasseri , I was sitting in another cafe window across the way. I great perch to draw, but mostly people watch. A man walked by me and I could see him through the window. He pinched his fingers to his lips and did a kiss thing and kept walking. I'm not sure what he meant, but it made my day. I loved Paris and would love to go back... maybe I will...

The Winter of My Discontent....

... well not really. But, I'm VERY ready for Spring. It's been interesting time this move of mine right smack dab in the middle of winter and which I also see as a personal winter of sorts. Leaving my friends and way of life behind me I headed to the middle of the country for new opportunities on many levels- with career, with art which I hope someday becomes my next career and with family. Great choices, great reasons and certainly no regrets. But around 3 pm on these cold days, I wonder... Where my days were once filled with phone calls and driving (oi vay - the driving) and meeting friends, going here, hurrying there, now my days are far less hectic, with fewer calls and people. There is a slowness, a silence, a state of just being wrapped up in a warm quilt watching the snow and the drab gray of winter - wondering when will this hibernation end. I realized I've not really spent any length of time in "hibernation" and though I'm not accustomed to it and feel a bit uncomfortable, I know it is for my good.
What you don't see in this picture is what I read into it. What I love about it. BabyKitty, who started her life with me in Texas, then California and now Missouri, looks out the window at this great big pine. She watches a squirrel that lives there and I'm sure takes a great deal of pleasure of taunting Baby while he sits on the iron railing eating a nut. There are also all kinds of birds that jump from limb to limb and she watches them too -- utterly fascinated. She enjoys this morning ritual of gulping down her food and sitting in the window. I'm pretty sure she doesn't even think twice about her old life in California and how warm it was or if the birds were more interesting. She's happy now. NOW is what she has and only knows and she found a window to enjoy it. Granted I know she's just a cat, a pretty smart one I might add (because she can fetch), but she doesn't have the ability to regret, doubt or lament. Somehow I think if she did have that capability, she wouldn't waste her time wondering about the past, her choices or even wishing for spring, I think she would say, "Come look out the window and see all those birds!"

Mama Bear and Papa Bear and Soon Came Baby Bear

Only a couple months to go before the baby comes. I can not wait. But boy, or rather GIRL, my life is really going to change and I'm JUST the aunt. I'm working on my "baby talk" and I'm not referring to "EEeewwww aren't you the cutest little coochie coochie cooo...." what I mean is that I need to get rid of my sailor mouth - (clear throat). For example when I spill the kitty litter on the floor I would say "Oh Snap!" Easy!!!! and I feel sure that practice will only perfect my baby talk. However, I've decided I'll just tell her I suffer from occasional bouts of Tourette syndrome when driving and it's a medical condition so I can't help it... I can just hear the interesting conversation between my brother and me in the not so far future...

(phone rings)
Hello...
No, I don't know where she learned that word maybe at school....
oh that's right she's not in school yet...
well, maybe it was the church nursery .... So this is what I worked on today - the invitations to the Baby Shower. I originally wanted the theme to be "dirty diapers" but I also wanted people to attend the Baby Shower. Fun, fun, fun ...

What do you mean I need 3 new tires?

When you think of the great artists in the world, or at least my favorite, Andrew Wyeth, John Singer Sargent, Cezanne, Picasso, Egon Schiele and maybe even Beatrix Potter you think of them as artists wrestling with ideas, colors, the change of light, philosophy maybe even love but NOT with the fact they need three new tires for their car. Granted, I realize I'm "no Picasso" but hearing the Firestone guy, Bill, tell me my tires are no good is a total creative buzz kill. How can I paint when I have tires to buy, hairballs to clean up, dishes to wash, huh? Tell me?Simple, you do a "color study". This is what you do when you are too old and too "mature" to buy a coloring book and crayons and lay on the floor all afternoon while you color away to the music of "Captain and Tennille" (Which I might add here, I just bought "The Ultimate Collection" from iTunes and it's awesome!!!!)

You take a picture draw it a couple of times and paint it a couple of different ways. In this case I did a non-water soluble pen and watercolor version and then a straight watercolor version. And yes, the pain of my tire purchase dramatically diminished.

Welcome to St. Louis -zzzzZAP

This has been a very long two months since my last post. I'm glad to be settled in my new place here in St. Louis and ready to get back to the business of living, creating and painting. I'll just lay out the bad news of living in a winter "wonderland" and then we will bask in the highlights of the mid-west. First, it's cold every single day. Now, to most of you that's not a surprise, but I haven't experienced crisp, eye watering, nose running, finger chilling cold in a long time. (I'm dreading my first heating bill.) Second, I haven't had a good hair day since my arrival and rub a Bounce dryer sheet through my hair just to keep it in place. (roof top view from my apartment)

And thirdly, I've pulled out an old tube of Payne's gray which I was told by many a teacher is a no-no color to use in watercolor paintings because it doesn't mix well with other colors and basically can bring a heaviness to a watercolor painting very quickly. But I have to say, there's no gray like it to express the gray of these winter days. It's been hard to come from Sunny California to Gray St. Louis. But the hardest part of all is missing my California friends. I miss you all terribly - Samantha, Deb, Gianino, Carol, Danny, John, Michel, Sharon, Jen, Wally, Michele...

But let me tell you about the good stuff - I live in a great big, beautiful, old apartment where BabyKitty slides across the floor when we play fetch and she makes the funniest face when her little pink nose gets ZAPPED by static electricity. I can write my rent check without feeling physical pain in my chest. I have my art table set right in front of two big windows. The natives I've met are truly kind and helpful. There is a White Castle in my neighborhood - my FAVORITE - and yes, I ate there four times the first week I moved here. Living near my brother and his wife is awesome and I'm never, not for one second, lonely. I love all the typical mid-west 1920s brick houses everywhere. My neighborhood is old and close by is a brewery and a railroad track which feels like I live somewhere between the sitcom "Laverne and Shirley" and the movie "Fried Green Tomatoes" And there's SO much good stuff to paint - I'm learning my grays and learning the light. I look forward to the spring. And best of all St. Louis believes and supports the fine arts in a HUGE way.
Oh the possibilities....This is a quote I've had for years. I liked it so much that I painted this and tacked it on a wall as a reminder, maybe even a hope. But to my surprise, the ideal of this is quite different than the reality. I don't know why I'm surprised. It's hard to sacrifice a perfectly fine life (that would be mine in California) for a bigger life (which I hope is St. Louis) So the moral of this is be really, really careful of the quotes you collect - you just might have to live one out.