Coloring Inside the Lines

The other night I spent several hours on the phone with a dear friend and writer who was filling me in on her life and what her little girls are doing. Her oldest is in first grade and really stressed out (Did you know they give homework in the 1st grade??!!?? - what is up with that?) This little girl, like her mother is very capable and smart and just wants to do it right. She loves school, getting good grades and pleasing her teacher. Her teacher really emphasizes coloring inside the lines. I certainly understand the importance of coloring in the lines, learning to control your hand and movement, paying attention to the details, being proud of your work. But this is really quite stressful for this little girl and it makes me so sad that coloring has to be stressful.
When I was a kid, I distinctly remember how at peace I was with my box of crayolas in front of me --which I meticulously arranged in some order by shade or rainbow order ROY-G-BIV before even beginning my coloring masterpiece. I would color in my very own coloring book, one that I did not have to share with my brothers. I'm sure I spent hours upon hours at the kitchen table or laying on the rug in my bedroom coloring inside the lines. All I had to think about was what color to put in those lines to make it a beautiful masterpiece. Sometimes I would play color games -- if I could only choose one, which would it be? An impossible question to answer. Even now, I can think of very few things that bring on such peace. I think I'm going to treat myself to a big box of crayons and coloring book today. But at some point, I'm not sure when - perhaps first grade - I started drawing my own lines to color in. These step by step instructions come from Ed Emberley's Drawing Book of Animals. I've had this book since first grade I do believe and still LOVE looking at it. He still makes books to help kids and (big kids too) learn to draw.

Still Learning to See

Earth's crammed with heaven and every common bush a fire with God: but only he who sees takes off his shoes. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

For the first time I saw the difference in sunlight and I couldn't have missed it if I tried. I spent five days in Miami for work and returned to California late in the night. I woke early the next day to the strange light in my room. What a different color the sun is in Miami - strong, piercing and white. While in California it is gentle, yellow, creating softer shadows. I was delighted to realize that I'm finally seeing the different light. Watercolor is the medium of light. So after all this time, I see the difference, but can I paint it?

Training one's eye to see to paint the light on a flower pedal or the shadow on the field might seem like a completely different task than seeing in one's life. I have to work on seeing the sacred and not labeling someone or something before I truly see them. Sometimes I see what I so badly want to see, because it's just easier. When I paint a still life in strong light I have to look for the light on, let's say, the apple. I have to leave it blank because on my palette there is no white. The light, the white is the paper. It would be so much easier to take heavy white gouache and place it where the light hits the apple after I'm finished the painting. But it doesn't look nearly as luminous or true. I sometimes do that with people. I've decided he is wonderful but I have not seen. I myself paint in the light because I didn't look for it so now I have to paint it in trying to make him work in my painting. Over the years, I've learned that before I start painting, I need to sit still and look at my subject matter for a while before brush hits paper. You look for the lights. You look for the colors you see in the shadows and in the reflections. You look to know, so when you finally paint, you do so in certainty. And you keep looking all the while you are painting. Another wonderful paint metaphor to be applied to life, especially my life. So now, I put my shoes back on, lace them up and leave the bush I thought was burning. I never will stop looking for the sacred in life and people. But, I plan on taking my time to really see before I take my shoes off again.

Zinnias from my garden painted August 2007

September?!?!

I can't believe it's September and I haven't written anything on my blog since July!!! The honest to goodness reason is that I've been traveling a great deal with my new job - Vegas twice, San Francisco three times, Chicago and Miami. This is my new life and it's pushed and pulled me in a direction I never planned but certainly think will ultimately be beneficial to who I am to becoming as an artist and now a career woman (gulp). The most discouraging part of this new job is the lack of time I've had to paint, missing Baby Kitty, my friends and learning to live out of a suitcase. But I'm determined to make the best of it. I take my paints with me now, my cat ignores me 80% of the day anyway, my friends can call on my cell phone (I bought more minutes) and living out of a suitcase - haven't found the positive to that yet - but I will. I am almost finished with a new watercolor of my friend's cat that I brought with me this last trip. I'll post it as soon as I put the finishing touches on it. All this travel is making me paint/draw even when it's not the most convenient and surprisingly, I've been doing some cool things. Of course I'm still working piece by piece on GerAmyum. Here's the latest - not sure if it will go in the story but we'll see....

Seeing

"The greatest thing a human soul ever does in this world is to see something, and tell what he saw in a plain way. Hundreds of people can talk for one who can think, but thousands can think for one who can see" - John Ruskin

Oh, to see better... and then what do we do with what we see - paint it, photograph it to help others see and see things we the artist don't even see. So much of my painting these days has been about "finishing". I'm forgetting to see. This quote by John Ruskin, Victorian art critic and artist always makes me stop and open my eyes. (By the way, he also didn't think women could paint or draw ... hmmmm) Beyond art, do we see the man we pass on the street or who makes our morning coffee?

Some of the art work I enjoy most are those in which the artist paints something I would have missed, that I would never have caught my eye let alone attention. Andrew Wyeth's work sends me to the moon. If you're looking for a good art book get this one. I just never get tired of it and BOY can he see. The picture to the left is in the corner of my parent's garden - they've watched many a bird fight over that bird bath.

Meet GerAmyUm

I'm half way through my summer art class at the Art Center. As with any class I've taken, I never quite know what to expect. However, what has been the most exciting and surprising is the other struggling artist/illustrator students in the class. They've been extremely helpful, honest and encouraging. So, some of my questions about the GerAmyUm book were put to rest with their input. For example, I was having a really hard time coming up with a face for GerAmyUm - I think because I really didn't want to put two dots and a smile in the middle of a geranium. My classmates told me they didn't feel one was necessary. So, meet GerAmyUm...
I had hoped to finish the illustrations for the book by the end of summer... (what was I thinking!!!) and all the work I've done up to now seems to have produced nothing. But I have to remember, I needed these wrong paintings to realize what I don't want and what doesn't work. And, I'm that much closer to getting the look and feel of what I want. That's a HUGE part of the process - all the work that does NOT go into it. No sketching, erasing, painting is a waste. Art and growing are both glorious and painful... Someone made a comment the other day about how painting must be so relaxing. I thought about it for a second. Yes, there are moments. But all in all I don't do it to relax. I get a massage, take a nap, watch a movie - that's what I do to relax. I paint because I feel most alive when doing it - even if I get mad. And trust me plenty of arches papers has been thrown across the room like a Frisbee. I hope to post another painting for the book soon - but I've got alot of wrong painting to do first...