Sometimes you give up on a few dreams and cross them off your list. Or you don't pray anymore about something you think you want. Worse, you pray for less thinking if you compromise He just might come through like prayer and dealing with God is some kind of grand negotiation. Sometimes, you just transfer hope and work for other things believing that these things will replace what you would really like.

I asked for ALL things so that I might enjoy life.

I was given LIFE so that I might enjoy all things....

This was on my favorite birthday card this year, my 44th year. It means so many things to me. And I painted it in my journal to remember this special life changing year. When I got married last year, that was a huge prayer answered and dream come true. Not to over romanticize marriage and love and all - we get enough of that from movies and music. But I was on my knees - tearfully, grateful to have met John and just really enjoy a man after so many years of dating. To be married to him was enough. And I was thankful -immensely, deeply, thankful. So when not a month after we were off and married I found myself "with child" I was angry. I mean, I had cried and mourned the end of this dream, this prayer many years ago. And happily said to myself that my purpose when it comes to kids was to be the best Aunt I could be to my brothers' children. And that was good, that was resolved... it took a little time. But God saw other wise and is in the process of giving me life. Most days I'm still in shock! I look forward to the changes ahead of me. What will this "life" bring? ... to see and enjoy all things?

Only a couple months to go before the baby comes. I can not wait. But boy, or rather GIRL, my life is really going to change and I'm JUST the aunt. I'm working on my "baby talk" and I'm not referring to "EEeewwww aren't you the cutest little coochie coochie cooo...." what I mean is that I need to get rid of my sailor mouth - (clear throat). For example when I spill the kitty litter on the floor I would say "Oh Snap!" Easy!!!! and I feel sure that practice will only perfect my baby talk. However, I've decided I'll just tell her I suffer from occasional bouts of Tourette syndrome when driving and it's a medical condition so I can't help it... I can just hear the interesting conversation between my brother and me in the not so far future...

(phone rings)
Hello...
No, I don't know where she learned that word maybe at school....
oh that's right she's not in school yet...
well, maybe it was the church nursery ....

So this is what I worked on today - the invitations to the Baby Shower. I originally wanted the theme to be "dirty diapers" but I also wanted people to attend the Baby Shower. Fun, fun, fun ...