Feed Your Heart

I never feel as if I'm "caught up".  I'm not even sure what that means.  But I do know there are plenty of nights I lay in bed wishing I would have chosen to paint instead of folding yet another load of laundry.  I seem to always put the household chores and demands of inanimate objects like dishes, clothing, lawns and floors before my own needs.   And, if I do that for too many days in a row I become a very unpleasant person and I hear my dear southern husband say, "You need to sweeten your tone."

Why is it that I feel the need to get everything completed, tied up, or even perfect before I take care of me, be it exercise, art, or even healthy cooking.  I don't know where the "me last" mentality came from.  But I think it's very common if not a natural state for many people.  

I've come to realize that doing something for myself makes me a better human being.  Sure I would love for the house to be in perfect order before I took the time to work on a watercolor painting, but the reality is that if I wait for order I would never paint.  One of the best parts about being a human is our ability to create. I'm getting better at walking away from the chore at hand to make sure I take time to feed my heart/my soul/ my creative spirit.  And when I return to the chaos, I seem to handle life and it's demands much better.

I encourage you to feed yourheart today in spite of the clutter that may surround you --
Play that instrument. Dip that paint brush. Write that poem..  

Morning Roses

Morning Roses in Glass 

For awhile there, I was feeling a bit embarrassed about what I LOVE painting.... 
Flowers.  
Always and forever, flowers. 
But then I remembered Monet, his Giverny and how he planned and worked his garden for the sake of his painting.  He made no apologies..... thank God.
So, here I am, owning it, announcing it, nope, I'm going to shout it.  
I love flowers!!!!

I who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday, this is the birth
day of life and love and wings; and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth

now the ears of my ears are awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened.
--e.e.cummings

Daisy's ABC Watercolors - A BOOK!!!!!

Ta - DAAAAAH
This is the cover of my ABC book.




And this is a quote I love and pretty much has inspired the 26 little paintings in this book.  I worked on it one little nap at a time and must say it was lots of fun.

Here are a few of my favorites.


D is for Dog.  
This dog is Max. He was my first dog. My "step" dog.  He came with John when we married. We had to put him down this past March because he had bone cancer.  It was very sad and Daisy probably won't remember him, but I will tell her all about Max, the sweetest dog ever when we talk about the letter D.


S is for seashells.  
I love saying, "Sally sold seashells by the sea shore."  Daisy looks at me like I'm magical when I say it.  



Z is for Zinnia.
I love many flowers but this flower is in my top ten and I have painted zinnias a bazillion times.  They are so easy to grow from seed and I love them in vases around the house.  Such cheerful flower too plus they come in so many bright colors and sizes.  I do believe life is better at the end of a hot summer because of zinnias.  

If you would like to have your own copy of this little 6"x6" book.  Click here to go to my Etsy shop.





That I might have life...

Sometimes you give up on a few dreams and cross them off your list.  Or you don't pray anymore about something you think you want.  Worse, you pray for less thinking if you compromise He just might come through like prayer and dealing with God is some kind of grand negotiation.  Sometimes, you just transfer hope and work for other things believing that these things will replace what you would really like.

I asked for ALL things so that I might enjoy life.
I was given LIFE so that I might enjoy all things.... 

This was on my favorite birthday card this year, my 44th year.  It means so many things to me.  And I painted it in my journal to remember this special life changing year.  When I got married last year, that was a huge prayer answered and dream come true.  Not to over romanticize marriage and love and all - we get enough of that from movies and music.  But I was on my knees - tearfully, grateful to have met John and just really enjoy a man after so many years of dating.  To be married to him was enough.  And I was thankful -immensely, deeply, thankful.  So when not a month after we were off and married I found myself "with child" I was angry.  I mean, I had cried and mourned the end of this dream, this prayer many years ago.  And happily said to myself that my purpose when it comes to kids was to be the best Aunt I could be to my brothers' children.  And that was good, that was resolved... it took a little time.  But God saw other wise and is in the process of giving me life.  Most days I'm still in shock!  I look forward to the changes ahead of me.  What will this "life" bring? ... to see and enjoy all things?

Carol Carter's Watercolor Workshop

About two months ago I signed up to take a weekend workshop with what I consider one of the best watercolor artists around.  The first time I saw the watercolors of Carol Carter in person, my mouth just fell open and I was floored.  This woman knows watercolors.  Her work just really hit me and spoke to me. It was more than a well rendered landscape or still life, there was an emotional impact that just seemed to smack me upside the head.  Fast forward three years later - here I am finally attending one of her workshops.

My main goal for taking her workshop was to bring an emotional quality to my work that I don't usually experience.  Sure I like pretty things that please the eye or make you smile.  But I'm currently striving for something more, something that touches the spirit like a great piece of music.  My goals may be high, but I want my art to touch someone's heart not just match their couch.  Carol does that, and still, I'm not quite sure just how she does it. 

Here's a list of techniques that I had to change in order to open up, widen my watercolor horizons and push myself out of my watercolor comfort zone.

1. Paint bigger - as in a full sheet 22x30 or larger.  I've been so timid about that, but after experiencing her work which is for the most part on a large scale, I see why it's important to push myself here.  I love painting little sketches in my journal or small little flower vignettes, but it's time to make myself uncomfortable.

2. Take your time, be deliberate, think.  - I've been in some kind of hurry, trying to catch up.  My mind set has been having more completed work, because more is better right?   And I think taking the time to work slowly and thoughtfully on a painting is very valuable - especially since I hurry and rush all day.

3. Try new colors and paint straight from the tube - Carol does very little mixing of colors.  And I mix EVERY color. This was really hard for me.  AND, I don't paint so bright.  I paint in a very traditional realistic manner.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, but for me I needed to do this and push myself out of some of my color mixing ruts. 

4. Paint more wet on wet -  Carol does very little layering or dry painting.  She lets the water do it's magic and knows how to coax the water on the paper to move where she likes it.  I love the look of a juicy wet watercolor, but find I needed to be reminded of this lesson because I was getting tighter and tighter in my own work.  One of the BIG strengths of watercolor is the running and moving of the water with pigment.

5. Paint what touches me, what speaks to MY heart - this is a tough one for me, perhaps the toughest because for years I've wanted to earn a living completely by my art.  With the desire to be a full time artist, I think to much about my work and spend too much time on artist sites and blogs comparing myself and painting what I think will sell.  That's not really painting from my heart now is it.  So this one requires a little more thought, a little more paying attention and certain awareness of myself and maybe even my motives.  There are times I think, "Really, another flower?!" but flowers speak to me - especially the ones I've planted from seed, nurtured and watch grow.  I have apologized for my flowers in the past, but no more.  But also, I really need to push myself and paint other subject matter.  Again, Carol does this with a confidence I envy.

The peony painting at the top of the page took me a week to complete.  Working a little every day as time allowed.  Probably three times the amount of time I normally spend on a painting.

This one I worked on in the workshop and I have to say at the time I HATED it.  I was so uncomfortable painting in a method I don't normally do --background first, all wet in wet and piece by piece.  But now, having set it aside and looking at it without all the emotional and uncomfortableness, I kind of like it.

Still working, still trying, still painting.... much like life.