That I might have life...

Sometimes you give up on a few dreams and cross them off your list.  Or you don't pray anymore about something you think you want.  Worse, you pray for less thinking if you compromise He just might come through like prayer and dealing with God is some kind of grand negotiation.  Sometimes, you just transfer hope and work for other things believing that these things will replace what you would really like.

I asked for ALL things so that I might enjoy life.

I was given LIFE so that I might enjoy all things.... 

This was on my favorite birthday card this year, my 44th year.  It means so many things to me.  And I painted it in my journal to remember this special life changing year.  When I got married last year, that was a huge prayer answered and dream come true.  Not to over romanticize marriage and love and all - we get enough of that from movies and music.  But I was on my knees - tearfully, grateful to have met John and just really enjoy a man after so many years of dating.  To be married to him was enough.  And I was thankful -immensely, deeply, thankful.  So when not a month after we were off and married I found myself "with child" I was angry.  I mean, I had cried and mourned the end of this dream, this prayer many years ago.  And happily said to myself that my purpose when it comes to kids was to be the best Aunt I could be to my brothers' children.  And that was good, that was resolved... it took a little time.  But God saw other wise and is in the process of giving me life.  Most days I'm still in shock!  I look forward to the changes ahead of me.  What will this "life" bring? ... to see and enjoy all things?

First Watercolor Painting (gasp)

It was this time of year nineteen years ago that I signed up for my first watercolor class.  And this here is the "lovely" (cough) little painting I did in the basement of my parents house testing out my new watercolors that I bought for the class.  This old set of chest of drawers sat very patiently while I painted it on heavy sketch paper - not even watercolor paper.  Over the years of cleaning and moving eight times, I kept this beginning.  It's a reminder of growth.  I can look back and say,   

"See I HAVE improved and I have proof." 

I only wish I could say this was true for many other areas of life.  As we age do we improve?  I'm a bit of skeptic these days. "Things" just don't get better because I get older.  Improvement is imminent when a person is deliberate.  I have been diligent at becoming a better artist.  It has been slow and frustrating but I do see improvement.  This little painting leaves me wondering what other areas of life should I be working on with the same diligence and perseverance. Patience with people? Generosity? Being less self-absorbed?  yes Yes YES.  Today, I think watercolor painting is easier...

It should have been a blue day, but it turned out to be yellow....

As I was following in love with my little foster kitten Ralphie, BabyKitty was becoming more and more jealous and mean. She's already a little difficult, but what I thought was a good idea - the whole foster kitten thing - really was making my cat of 8 years VERY miserable. Plain and simple Ralphie wanted to play with BabyKitty when he was awake and snuggle with her when he wanted to sleep. BabyKitty would have none of it. Ralphie would chase her and jump on her and attack her tail. There was a great deal of hissing going on these past few months. I was still considering keeping him until I saw BabyKitty's "bloody" paw one night. I couldn't figure out how that happened.
"Did Ralphie do that? Oh boy. Now I have to go to the vet... I can't afford the vet... I'll see if Stray Rescue will help out, I mean the foster kitten did this... Oh I hope her paw doesn't have to be amputated!..." And so goes my train of worried thought. I tried to clean it up with a damp cloth. I only managed to wipe it a little and I was so confused. "Where was all this yellow coming from." It was late and I was tired, I just decided I would take her to the vet in the morning. Ugh...

You know how you have something in your mind, you are so certain of something that no other idea or thought could possible enter in for consideration. That's how I was with my cat's paw. I was certain it was a wound. So, I somehow managed not to see or give much thought to all the yellow. Then I remembered. I squirted a fresh bit of Quinacridone Gold on my palette (which I might add is a FABULOUS color and if you paint you need this. It makes beautiful greens, rich corals and it's transparent - one of my favorite, "can't live with out" colors. I only recommend the Winsor Newton version of this color). I looked closely at my palette and sure enough there was a big Quin Gold paw print and an even bigger dent in the paint. Clearly she walked into the paint after she messed up her foot. Meanwhile, I decided that my poor cat didn't need any friends and I found another foster kitten home to put Ralphie. So before I called the vet I decided I was just soak her paw in the sink and get the gold out no matter how much she hissed and growled. I had to change the sink water 3 times. And low and behold a miracle happened, BabyKitty was healed of that horrible wound inflicted on her by playful Ralphie. Needless to say, I felt like a moron. Well, a moron with quite an elaborate imagination. Still, I think it was best to find Ralphie a new place to stay until he was adopted. When I dropped him off at his new foster home, another kitten about his same age rounded the corner with a skid and dashed into the room. Ralphie smiled - well, cats can't smile, but his ears darted up and his tail wagged in a smile and I knew Ralphie would be much happier here with his new playmate. I still miss the little guy. But you can't believe how happy BabyKitty is. She's been puring all day. So I finished this yellow still life in honor of the cats, the color quinacridone gold and as the second still in my color series after the green still. So long Ralphie...

It's Easy Seeing Green

At first all I saw were the groceries and dishes that needed to be put away. Then like a light from heaven, I saw all that delicious green... the green of my Granny Smith apple, the avocado and my cereal bowl. I quickly put the eggs and milk in the fridge, found this chartreuse napkin and painted this study in green, it's so "Easy Seeing Green"
I don't always frame my work and hang it on the wall. I tend to just lean it against something as part of a vignette. "BUT IT'S A WATERCOLOR!" you might say to yourself. "How can you do that? They're fragile..." My answer to that is simply they aren't as fragile as you might think. I display lots of my work on easels, shelves and in windows. I use excellent paper, artist grade paints and keep them in not so humid places, like a steamy bathroom. So, with art be creative in your displaying, of course acid free framing and UVA protective glass is preferred, but until you do that, it's fine to lean them and leave them.